How Introverts Can Make Friends in a New Job - The Muse

How Introverts Can Make Friends in a New Job - The MuseHow Introverts Can Make Friends in a New JobYoure about to start a new role. Its exciting because yay, fresh start, but its also incredibly intimidating.Youre not anti-social or shy, but you are an introvert and it takes you a little bit longer to become friends with people. But you want friends at your new workplace So, youre probably feeling a little anxious about the fact youre about to be surrounded by a whole lot of unfamiliar faces. Well, youre certainly not alone in this fear. In fact, we talked to five introverts on how they managed to build relationships with their co-workers when starting a new job. Heres what they suggest Take the First Few Days to Just ObserveA different environment with different people, responsibilities, and schedules is a lot for introverts to take in.So, when it comes to making friends, dont feel obligated to jump right in.Spend the first few days observing and listening to conversations in breakr ooms and around the water cooler. Keep a low profile and just watch and listen, then decide who you would like to get to know more, says Mychelle Fernandez, social influencer, blogger, and self-identified introvert.Alisha Powell, PhD, LCSW, agrees Im a travel social worker, so I have a new set of colleagues in a new office every few months. One thing Ive found helpful is to observe the office dynamic.And, she says, Observing people doesnt have to be super creepy. It just means that you do what you need to do but you also pay attention to what is around you. You listen to conversations without feeling the need to interject your point. Learning through observation is a great idea if youre shy and not sure where to start. Think of this timeframe like your planning period (and introverts love planning)- youre getting a lay of the land, which will help you better understand who youll mesh well with and the best ways to approach certain people.Start SmallFrom there, you can begin to take baby steps. Powell and Fernandez suggest starting with small talk, then moving this to a one-on-one meal or coffee.By asking for recommendations on places to eat for example, he or she may end up inviting you to join him or her, says Fernandez.Its not in an introverts nature to talk to a lot of people at once, so thats why I suggest to talk to one person at a time. Make an effort to talk to one new person a day, even if its just introducing yourself, adds Lauren Crain, Digital Marketer at Health Labs.Seek Out Groups That Interest YouThis is great advice for anyone in a new job, but especially for introverts who struggle to come up with ways to insert themselves into cliques.Many offices offer clubs or after-work activities. Choose ones that are interesting to you and dive in by asking about others days, jobs, and personal lives. At Fundera, I joined the running club- which is restricted to a Slack channel for the time-being- where runners share advice on products, races, and general tips. For me, it provided familiarity with new co-workers and a topic to bring up when I bumped into another runner, says Nicolas Straut, Content Marketing Associate at Fundera.Be Your Kind and Wonderful SelfFinally, remember that youre a smart, nice, and awesome person that people will like because they have zero reason not to.Be yourself- unapologetically. Let your co-workers know what you like I, for example, love contemporary art, so I took a fellow intern to a few galleries last summer on another occasion, a co-worker (whom Id never met) and I celebrated and critiqued our favorite writers and filmmakers for hours after she noticed one of my laptop stickers, a tribute to my favorite movie. We talked for so long that our dumplings had gone cold, says Melissa Ho, a marketing team member at Fueled.Three months ago, I joined my current company and made it my mission to make new friends despite my introversion. My top tip for fellow introverts in this situation is to remember that y our new co-workers want to meet someone who is cool and friendly. Once you start, make a good impression by smiling often and being warm when others engage you. My first week, I accidentally grabbed someone elses coffee mug and when they asked where it was in a general Slack channel, I was quick to apologize and introduce myself in a friendly manner when I gave it back. The mugs owner and I are now good friends despite my mistake, adds Straut.Did you try these and find that youre still not having luck? One thing to remind yourself is that making friends in a new job is hard- for everyone. So cut yourself some slack if youre not hitting it off with people right away. Youll get there.